For a decade I had figure out how I would ask the woman I fall in love with how to marry me. There is a lookout in the Berkeley Hills that you can see the whole bay from top to bottom. It requires a two mile hike in, and I thought what a great place. Better yet, I thought, how about a dinner with that view. Better yet, how about a surprise dinner that she would not expect.

Well I plotted the whole thing out. I would get somebody to truck in a table, chairs, dinner, etc. (this would require special permission from parks and rec’s). Then when we got there, I would pretend that there would be a person there that was an advance person for a movie crew, I knew the person from high school, and they would ask us to do the dinner while they film us for the director for the movie (oh the stand in’s are lost, use your imagination ;-) I would have cut out clothes they use at the photo booths so we would look dressed up. They would film, we have a great dinner, and with dessert she finds the ring.

Great idea isn’t it. Imagine pulling this off. Better yet imagine pulling this off in winter.

I did not want to wait another 6 months to ask Iris to marry me so I could make that dream come through (which I can guarantee would have failed somewhere as it was pretty grandiose). So here is our real story:

In November I realized that I wanted to do something very romantic for Iris that she would never forget, and of course would make her say yes.

Every year near my Birthday (January 29), I do a party for my family and a few very close friends. This year I wanted to include what I hoped would be my new family (Iris’) also.

The date gets set for the party, January 28. The whole family agrees to come (mine and hers). Now I have to figure out how to ask her to make it special and a surprise. Also I need to find a ring, but have plenty of time (or so I think).

I find the dealer for the ring, but can not decide on the diamond. Asking Iris fake questions to find out only complicated things.

Christmas is around the corner so I trick Iris to go shopping to show me things she would want for Christmas. The first stop was a jewelry store where she was suppose to show me what she wants. She heads straight for the diamond rings. I am able to figure out the style of ring she likes as she looks at them, but then I have to remind her we are in the store to see Christmas gifts (we have been looking at wedding rings for months just in case we decided to get married).

I pick my diamond, have a custom ring made based on her input, and put my down payment on it. Wow Got it done, at least 6 weeks before the party.

Well January comes along, I am back to having to figure out the method of asking her. Oh did I mention I picked the Diamond, but did not like it? Well two weeks before the party, I tell the jeweler to find a different diamond even better (he basically tells me I am wasting my money). He does NOT. One week before the big day I ask what he has found (nothing), and he said he will look more. 5 days before the big day he calls me with a new diamond. We have one I like better (actually smaller, but better quality).

On the day of the party, I still have not figured out how to ask her. I tell Iris I am inventing a game for the party and to leave me alone so I can figure it out (she of course tells me we do not need a game, and you can guess where that goes).

I run to office depot and buy 5 color index cards. I write 25 sayings one to each of 25 cards.

After Dinner I have her sit in a chair to play the game. I give her the 25 cards, and ask her to tell everybody “collectively they mean one thing.”

While she is reading and trying to figure it out, I hand two cards to each of her parents, Irene and Christopher:

Would you give me permission to Marry Iris?

I also give the following card to the remaining family members (and close friends):

Do you think Iris and I should get married?

I tell them all to not share their cards with each other and to not have any reaction to their cards.

Iris can not tell me the answer, so I have another card with the answer and not so cleverly hand it to her. The answer is “the reasons I love you”

I ask Irene to answer the question on her card. She responds with a quick and excited yes.

I ask Christopher, who responds that he needs 5 minutes to think about his answer. For five minutes we all watch him as he tries to hold back his true emotions, and he has the whole attention of the room (remember Iris has not a clue what is going on, or what these answers mean). Finally 5 minutes pass, and Christopher states “with Pleasure”. But in his happiness it sounds more like “with pressure”, which Yolanda (Iris’ sister) quickly responds with “with Pressure?”. This added to the mystery to Iris, and gave the rest of us a good laugh.

Finally I decide it would take just too long to ask each person (about 25) to answer their question, so I ask the whole group to answer their questions now, and with a roaring sound, they all say YES.

I then went into autopilot, nothing I had planned was going to happen. I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. She did not hesitate to say YES! She cried!

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