Iris and her friend Elley went to a client’s party which took them to a bar where they were to do Karaoke. Meanwhile, Brian’s friend George had heard from a friend of his that this same party was happening, and they decided to crash the party. Brian spotted Iris and Elley at the bar, and he approached them. They began talking and found an immediate comfort with each other.

A part of the party was going down the street to dance, and Brian was very gracious to treat us ladies to dancing (had I realized then that Brian does not really like dancing, I may have realized he had alternative ideas). This dance place was so loud, that we could not really talk (not to mention so crowded you could barely move), so we used Brian’s PDA to talk with each other. Brian tried to invite them to his house for BBQ he was having the following day, but was given very little belief we would join.

It turned out he had never actually set up the BBQ with his friends, so when Iris accepted at around 4PM that day, he had to work fast to get 6 people there (not to mention food) to make it look like it was a planned BBQ. Iris attended and enjoyed herself, but when Brian walked her to her car and asked for a ‘Date’ Iris turned him down.

Brian, realized the word ‘Date’ is what Iris did not like, and a week later, contacted Iris and told her he would be in the city during the day and ask if she would like to go to Dinner (he made sure to never use the word ‘Date’). Iris accepted without hesitation.

Iris attended, and it was fun, but she wasn’t ready for a relationship (and told Brian she prefers to date Asian men, but did not close the door on Caucasian men).

Brian and Iris kept an email conversation but Iris was very brief and abrupt in the emails. Brian contacted Elley (who he had been emailing also) to see if he should continue to show interest in Iris, or move on, knowing very well that everything they discussed would get back to Iris. It went on for weeks, and Brian attempted another dinner with Iris (and did not use the term ‘Date’ again to get it).

At dinner, Iris told Brian that she just wanted to be ‘friends’, and yet in her mind, she thought she was telling him she wanted to get to know him more before she decided whether she wanted to date him. Brian understandably believed he just got the kiss of death and decided he could be just friends, but was not going to put a lot of energy into getting together. To add insult to injury, after dinner, Iris invited Brian to a movie (yes he still remembers the movie) which he said yes to be polite, but really just wanted to get out of there feeling the way he felt. They barely talked at the movie while waiting for it to start, and on the car ride back.

A week passed, Iris mentioned the dinner to her sister. Yolanda explained to Iris she had turned him down completely. Realizing that was not what she wanted Brian to think, she called him and invited him to a bike ride. He happily accepted and even arranged to borrow a bike for Iris. Unfortunately, Iris got really sick the night before the bike ride and she cancelled the plan.

A week later Brian was on his way back from a family gathering and thought it would be nice to meet Iris for dinner. Iris accepted however she was running late right before dinner. Brian patiently waited for one and a half hour for Iris (especially when she had led him to believe she was only 30 minutes away). Brian called her to cancel the dinner to find she was 2 minutes away so he stayed. At dinner, Iris didn’t find a good time to explain the whole situation. Brian decided to make her pay for her share of dinner since they were only ‘friends’. When they got back to Iris’ place, Iris finally told him what she was trying to tell him the last time they went to dinner. Brian’s response: “Does this mean we were just on a date? If so, then I need to pay you back for your share of the check”.

There is much more to the story, which we may post here soon, but that is the start of our life together.

back to top